Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize