No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
