I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
smell my finger.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
