capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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