im gay
i know
yea but for you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
