Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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