gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
