in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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