did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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