Yo dont text me then not text me
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
