i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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