Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
