Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
