I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize