my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
