there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize