If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
