She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
