so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
