my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
