when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
