He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
