you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
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I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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