youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
