Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
