good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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