I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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