Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
