I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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