I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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