are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
