i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
