it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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