I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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