My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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