I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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