i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
