Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
