my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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