At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just google imaged poop.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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