I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
