Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize