you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
