New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
