$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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