so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
