Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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