so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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