i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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