i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
