You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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