i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
