You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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