***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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