I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
someone owes me an orgasm
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
