I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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