Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
