dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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