The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
They took my balls.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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