i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
