dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
