Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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