I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
