Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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