This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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