what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
